Monthly Archives: November 2010

Dealing With Controlling Personalities – Part II

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Some strategies for taking charge of your relationships:

 Start by being honest with yourself about how you feel when these situations happen, when your friends or family act in a controlling and disrespecting manner. Decide how you would like to change the situation and the make a goals list of how you can achieve that outcome.

 An example would be to admit that your boyfriend’s lateness really drives you crazy and is underminding your relationship with him and causing you resentment and stress. Then, imagine a solution you can apply to change the usual outcome. Try discussing this strategy with others and see how explaining it either confirms or alters your strategy.

1. Be Specific: Be very specific about what is important to you in terms of what you are determined to change about your experience. It is important to be committed to your goals no matter how small or large they may be.

2. Express Your Opinions:If you are determined to transform a relationship, and important action step to take is not to allow yourself to stifle your opinions or preferences. Telling others of your goals and preferences anchors them into a deeper commitment. If your friend or boyfriend cannot be on time, then let them know if you are willing to leave without them the next time they are late for an event. 

3. Don’t Back Down – Let Go of Expectations: Be absolutely firm about your commitment to change your toxic friendship or relationship and under no circumstances allow others to make you change your mind about achieving that goal. At the same time, don’t be afraid to let go of expectations in the relationship. Often when we let go of our expectations, things have a way of working out on their own.

It is important to take control over negative or toxic relationships. Only you can empower yourself and take control over your life and your feelings. It takes effort and time, but it’s worth it.

With all good wishes,
Georgianna

Copyright 2010 G. Donadio

Dealing With Controlling Personalities

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In each of our lives we run across or have relationships with individuals who want, and often demand, they get their way. They have strong personalities, strong wills and often strong egos that make them controlling, often narcissistic and manipulative.

They might be a friend, spouse, relative or even a boss, but people of this description often try to suppress us from voicing our opinions. When we are dealing with family members who have a history of being demanding and go all out to get their way, it is easy to become manipulated by them, sometimes to keep the peace or because other family members go along with their demands.

Unlike with family, we can choose to have relationships with friends or not. But, even elective friendships become toxic when one individual disregards the needs and feeling of the other person and is all about getting their way.

These situations are not only frustrating but can also have an affect on our health and our morale. When others manipulate us we can feel unheard, unseen and not valued. This can lead to anger and a feeling of powerlessness when this becomes a pattern of relationships with particular individuals.

These types of relationships take their toll on us physically, emotionally and even spiritually. They can become the source of continued anxiety and frustration, creating stress that can become physically debilitating if it goes on long enough. These types of relationship stressors have been shown to cause chronic conditions, such as skin problems, asthma and stomach or bowel issues.

With emotional relationships like these in our lives we can lose our sense of self and self worth. The only way we can avoid these types of relationships and the negative feelings they engender is to empower ourselves and take control over the quality and tone of our relationships.

To appreciate an actual situation, let’s discuss dealing with a friend who is never on time for scheduled meetings and appointments. This makes you feel disrespected and not valued. In addition, his being late also has ramifications for you, causing you to be late for appointments as well.

With this scenario in mind, let’s review some steps you can take to take back control of your time, your feelings and your relationship.

Part II – Steps to TakeWith all good wishes,
Georgianna

Copyright 2010 G. Donadio

Dealing with Fibromyalgia

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Fibromyalgia is characterized by pain in the tissues, which are highly sensitive to pressure. Other symptoms can also accompany the tissue pain such as fatigue, sleep disturbance, joint pain and more.

Although it is often referred to as a “medically unexplained syndrome”, the American College of Rheumatology defines the condition as one which has a history of widespread pain in the connective tissues that persist for more over 12 weeks, and which affects both sides of the body and includes above and below the waist.

The medical approach to treating fibromyalgia is centered on anti-depressant, anti-seizure and muscle relaxant drugs. These medications target the nervous system function to reduce pain but can also cause great lethargy and fatigue. When an Integrated treatment approach is utilized which incorporate medication, patient education, aerobic exercise and cognitive-behavioral therapy it has been shown to be effective in alleviating the pain and other fibromyalgia-related symptoms.

To take better control over this syndrome, understanding how connective tissue and muscle fibers function in both normal conditions as well as in  fibromyalgia states is helpful.

For muscles to move, energy must be produced in each muscle cell to allow the collective bundle of muscle fibers to move. When energy is produced through the Krebs Cycle which takes place inside each cell, crystal like acids are produced as a by-product of energy production.

Lactic and pyruvic acids can build up in the spaces between the muscle fibers if there is a lack of proper blood flow or if the muscles are so tensed that these by-products cannot be removed with normal circulatory function.

The more tense the muscle, the more diminished the circulation, the greater the tissue build up of these highly irritating acids. If this tension persists over time, the surrounding tissues can become highly inflamed and a chronic, painful syndrome is established.

The most effect approaches to treating fibromyalgia include:

  • movement or aerobic exercise to assist in flushing out the tissue
  • behavior focused therapy to assist in reducing tension in the body
  • mild relaxants that do not cause secondary symptoms
  • information and education that can offer options for individual to choose from

Fibromyalgia is viewed as a stress-fueled condition. Therefore any approach or techniques directed at reducing stress and muscle tension are highly effective.

Giving Thanks Heals the Heart

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What a wonderful gift Thanksgiving, a day for giving and expressing thanks, is for all of us. Anyone and everyone can participate in this day of gathering family and friends to share food and well wishes, taking time to reflect on the things we have been blessed with and are thankful for.

Giving thanks is a healing and healthy act that many of us have sadly reserved for this one special time of the year. Ignatius, the renown scholar and saint, offers us a powerful insight into the nature of why we suffer – and as it happens, it relates to giving thanks.

Ignatius said that “all suffering starts with ingratitude” – that when we lose our appreciation for all that we have and the many blessings each of our lives is bestowed with, we begin to seek, want and covet what others have been blessed with. We put our own gifts aside, much like children do when they see their friend’s or sibling’s shiney new toy.

Gratitude opens the heart and removes “stress” that comes from fear of not having:

> all that we want

> all that we think we need

> what we see others have

> what we think is due us

> what we believe will make us happy 

> what we believe will make us important or loved

Giving thanks for what we have, rather than wanting and longing for things we do not have, is a simple act of love that fills us with the humble pleasure of realizing how the universe cares for us – and is taking care of us.

Even when things are difficult and we are suffering, when we take the time to reflect on all the good things we also have in our lives, we suffer less, worry less and feel happier.

Perhaps Ignatius is on to something very holistic when he encourages us to remember the biblical wisdom found in I Thessalonians 5: 18 that recommends to us – “in all things give thanks”, for in this we will find our hearts full and our fears dissolved.

Happy Thanksgiving Holiday Season,

With all good wishes,
Georgianna

Copyright 2010 G.Donadio

Holistic Approach to Diabetes – Part VI

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Spiritual/World View

It is said that there is only one disease: the disease which comes from separating oneself from the awareness that we are one tribe, one family. When we lose our connectedness to one another, competition becomes commonplace.

Competition creates isolation, and isolation leads to dis-ease. The spiritual challenge presented by hypoglycemia and diabetes appears to involve our need to belong to the tribe, and how we choose to behave towards ourselves and others.

The drama that is creating the one-up or one-down dynamics of our highly competitive, materialistic society can lead to the self-soothing and behavioral issues which contribute to the development of mature onset diabetes.

The renowned anthropologist and writer, Joseph Campbell, stated that, “all human beings have three essential questions they seek answers to: Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? Where do I go when I die?” Our attempts to answer these questions form our worldview, our spirituality or faith in the unknown.

Faith requires trust in the unseen and provides us with a tool that puts order in our universe and allows us to  formulate purpose and meaning for our lives. How do we learn to trust in this mysterious order of the universe? Various ancient spiritual teachings suggest we can achieve this state through trusting the order of our inner universe.

We do this by setting boundaries — codes of conduct regarding how we are going to behave, eat, work, exercise and live. If we do not violate our own boundaries, we are less likely to violate others’ boundaries or to let anyone else violate ours.

Krishna’s ancient dictum — “The best way to help mankind is through the perfection of yourself” — gives us affirmation that when we heal ourselves we heal the world.

With all good wishes,
Georgianna

Copyright 2010 G. Donadio

A Holistic Approach to Diabetes – Part V

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Environmental: Internal & External

The environments that we work in, live in or pass through daily have a significant impact on the way we feel about ourselves and in our bodies. Dr. Maslow brilliantly pointed out that human beings are herd animals — interdependent beings who seek the safety and comfort of the tribe.

Belonging, being a part of a family or faith community are important needs of all human beings. When we are living or working in environments that do not value us, do not reflect back to us our contributions or embrace us as
belonging to the group, we suffer from alienation and a sense of loss which can in turn lead to self-soothing behaviors such as starchy carbohydrate over consumption, smoking,drugs or alcohol abuse.

Likewise, we must be able to slow down and listen to what our body’s internal environment is telling us, such as when we have eaten too much or too little of certain foods, when we need to rest, relax and take time for self-care. When we choose to ask questions about what might be the unconscious cause of our behaviors — either emotional or physical — we can process this information to liberate unwanted unconscious conditioning.

One of my patients recently had a transformational experience using this listening exercise. A devoted environmentalist, Linda would become angry and upset whenever she saw someone throwing away bottles or cans instead of placing them in available recycle bins. She would pick up the discarded container and boldly put it in the recycle bin, glaring at the offending stranger as she did this.

Unfortunately, her anger and frustration would leave her with an emotional and physical “hangover” — upset stomach,aching head and a strong desire for chocolates and anything starchy.

In facilitating Linda’s process of understanding her pattern, she was invited to explore the question, “What does it feel like when I see someone ignore recycling efforts?” The answer surprised Linda because what she felt was that she, personally, was not being valued or respected. She was able to trace the feelings back to having her “Earth Mother” values mocked in high school, not only by her peers but by her siblings as well.

She was then able to understand why she reached for chocolate, which contains phenylalanine, an amino acid our brains produce when we are feeling loved and satisfied. This is the reason chocolate has long been associated with Valentine’s Day, because of its biochemical mimicking of the “love protein.”

Next Installment: Part VI- Spiritual World View

With all good wishes,
Georgianna
Copyright 2010 G. Donadio

A Holistic Approach to Diabetes – Part IV

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The pancreas is one of the hardest working organs in our body. It is the
“end organ” of digestion, providing numerous enzymes and hormones that allow us to assimilate or “take in” the outside world on a very cellular level.

The pancreas is also a metaphor for our relationship with others and the world around us, as it literally allows us to take in, integrate and nourish ourselves from the macro to the micro level.

In this regard, problems related to the pancreas, or the third chakra, relate to our relationships with self and others and our sense of belonging — the real sweetness of life. The pancreas also correlates with psychologist Abraham Maslow’s third hierarchy, which is the need to belong that connects us with each other, our family and our community or tribal bonds.

Often when we build our diet around starchy, complex carbohydrates or find ourselves craving them, this can be a way of “self-medicating” our emotional needs by eating foods that lead to increased serotonin levels as compensation for the lack of loving relationships or connections in our lives.

Regardless of the emotional motivation, over time excess consumption of starchy complex carbohydrates and overeating can result in the pancreas not working as efficiently as it was designed to.

This can lead to hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) or hyperglycemia (high blood sugar.) Paradoxically, if we are feeling the ups and downs of hypoglycemia or hyperglycemia, this may produce feelings of anxiety or apprehension that further undermines our emotional sense of well being, security and self-esteem.

The chronic anxiety that stems from these emotions often leads to more self soothing behaviors of overeating and elevated starchy carbohydrate consumption which eventually results in mature onset diabetes.

When our feelings of poor self-esteem, a fear of not belonging, or a need for approval and acceptance are dealt with by “medicating” with serotonin producing foods, we are simply treating the symptoms. This masks the underlying emotional cause of diabetes and allows the feeling/feeding cycle to continue.

Next Installment – Part V – Chemical and Nutritional
With all good wishes,
Georgianna

Copyright 2010 G. Donadio

A Holistic Approach to Type II Diabetes – Part III

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MATURE ONSET or ADULT DIABETES also named Type II Diabetes

Mature onset diabetes affects approximately 18.2 million Americans and is the leading health concern in our culture today. As all chronic conditions are, mature onset diabetes is a multi-dimensional disease state.

Restoration of health for those with chronic diseases such as diabetes is far more successful when a patient is educated about the many facets of their illness and treatment.

Physical/StructuralWhat happens on a physical and structural level with mature onset diabetes? Our nervous system, brain and the lungs must function with a certain metabolism of sugars within the body. In order to maintain this balance, insulin, a secretion of the pancreas, hooks onto sugar molecules and acts like a lock and key mechanism to bring sugars into the cell to be used as energy in the cycle of cell metabolism.

Over time, when a person indulges in eating large amounts of insulin-provoking foods such as sugars and starches in the form of complex carbohydrates, the specialized beta cells of the pancreas which produce insulin can become incapable of producing adequate amounts of this critically necessary secretion. Serious disturbances occur when we do not have enough insulin to carry the sugar over the cell membranes.

Emotional/SocialJust as diabetes is a lack of appropriate and balanced nourishment on a chemical/nutritional level, so is it a disease of a lack of emotional nourishment on the psychological level. Current scientific research indicates a dynamic relationship between carbohydrates, overeating and a chemical called serotonin, a neuro-transmitter produced in our bodies that provides a feeling of well being.

Serotonin production is increased in the body when we overeat or consume complex, starchy carbohydrates, demonstrating a correlation between our body’s chemistry and emotional state. The pancreas is one of the hardest working organs in our body. It is the “end organ”
of digestion, providing numerous enzymes and hormones that allow us to assimilate or “take in” the outside world on a very cellular level. The pancreas is also a metaphor for our relationship with others and the world around us, as it literally allows us to take in, integrate and nourish ourselves from the macro to the micro level.

In this regard, problems related to the pancreas, or the third chakra, relate to our relationships with self and others and our sense of belonging — the real sweetness of life. The pancreas also correlates with psychologist Abraham Maslow’s third hierarchy, which is the need to belong that connects us with each other, our family and our community or tribal bonds.

Part IV – Social, Nutritional, Environmental and Spiritual

With all good wishes,
Georgianna

Copyright 2010 G. Donadio

A Holistic Approach to Type II Diabetes – Part II

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Part II – The Need for De-Mystified Health Information

In a world exploding with health information, especially on the Internet, we are caught in the dilemma of having abundant amounts of information without a context through which we can understand and utilize it in a way that is appropriate for our own unique personal health needs. There is an urgent need for quality health education.

Whole Health Education, developed over the past 28 years in cooperation with Boston physicians, nurses and educators, is an approach to health education that can transform our experience of the way we care for ourselves and others. Evaluated in a pilot cardiac rehabilitation hospital trial study in 2002 by Dr. Harvey Zarren at Union Hospital, North

Shore Medical Center in Lynn, MA, Whole Health Education integrates evidence-based medical information with the wisdom of various spiritual teachings and a whole person overview of behavioral options. By providing individualized health information thatexplains the physical, emotional, nutritional, environmental and spiritual aspects of any health concern, Whole Health Education helps patients discern what information they are lacking about their health, what choices they can make to eliminate or control their health problems, as well as the best care options for their individual needs.

It is a common sense approach to becoming our own best friend and personal healer by understanding the cause and effect our behaviors and choices have on our state of health. In this model, we become the center of our health and healing process, rather than the doctors or practitioners we go to for guidance and treatment.

Let’s take a look at Mature Onset Diabetes, a.k.a., Type II Diabetes from the five (5) element perspective and see how this approach can assist us in understanding and importantly, demystifying this all too common chronic health condition.

Part III – The Five Aspects of Mature Onset Diabetes

With all good wishes,
Georgianna

Copyright 2010 G. Donadio

A Holistic Approach to Type II Diabetes

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A couple of years ago, I wrote an article about taking a holistic approach to understanding and addressing Mature Onset Diabetes. This particular article found it way into over 3,000 citations around the globe. Our PR firm is still scratching its head as to how this happened but suspects social networking magic is how the article was so abundantly shared – ah, the magic of back-linking! The article has been and still is very popular. I will be sharing it with you in installments over the next few days.

Here is Part I:

Holistic health and Whole Health Education promote new thinking and a plan of action for taking control of your health and wellbeing. Do you ever wonder why, in spite of all your good intentions, you just cannot seem to take control over your health and wellness the way you really want to?

The answer to that question can be found in the words of Albert Einstein, who reminded us “you cannot correct a problem with the same thinking that created it.” In other words, you cannot change old behaviors without new information.

The Institute of Medicine published a study that indicates ninety million Americans are “health illiterate,” which means we do not know how to interpret or use health information to control or improve our health, or prevent chronic disease. “Lack of information” was cited as the number one root cause of death.

Understanding that there exists a cause and effect relationship between what we know and how we behave, we need a model of integrating this important information to change the behaviors that lead to chronic disease.

According to a seven-year Harvard Medical School study published in 1996, approximately 70% of all cancers and chronic conditions can be prevented through lifestyle changes. Furthermore, our diseases and conditions are primarily a result of stress, food, environment, attitude, emotions or beliefs that keep us perpetuating behaviors that lead to illness. Are we consciously choosing to be unhealthy, or do we just not understand sufficiently the relationship between what we think, how we behave, what we put into our bodies and how we keep ourselves well or make ourselves sick?

Part II The Need for De-Mystified Health Information

With all good wishes,
Georgianna

Copyright 2010 G. Donadio