Nutrition is today's new religion. How we chose to eat provides a sense of control and predictability in a world that is often out of control and not predictable. People find comfort, stability and reassurance in the regimen of adhering to a certain diet and what they believe it will do for their well-being and longevity.
The future of health promotion needs to address that while nutrition is one of the five major necessities of life our relationships (after survival needs are met) are the #1 most critical component to health – and for health promotion. Currently, the way we treat each other at work, in the media, politics, and in our homes, speaks of an underlying pathology; a lack of respectful communication, widespread cultural discontent and alienation. http://boston.cbslocal.com/2015/03/31/research-golden-rule-lost-among-coworkers/

In 1980, TIME magazine published a survey asking if people were happy or content and felt purposeful in their lives; 80% responded positively. Just over 10 years later, TIME magazine published another survey. This time there was only a 20% positive response.

The timeline of the epidemic of obesity in the U.S. runs parallel with the epidemic of discontent that was ushered in with the "Life Styles of the Rich and Famous" in the mid-to-late 1980's; followed by an exploding economy fueled by mega-rich real estate, dotcom and investment billions. No one wanted to be left behind in keeping up with the new, very rich "Jones".

Drive and ambition ripped across all sectors of our society; lifestyles were transformed with 2 paycheck households, over 50% of meals eaten outside the home, leisure time slashed. We felt the pressure to keep up, to belong to this explosion of plenty and in that process lost our collective sense of contentment and purposefulness.

Health promotion in the future will be about addressing the needs and drives of the whole person, not just the fuel that runs their engine. Promoting awareness that we all want and need to be valued and to make a meaningful contribution to others is an important starting point. So much of the disease, obesity, depression, unhappiness and untapped potential can be reversed by being valued and respected; when our cultural focus is less on conflict and competition – and more on respectful behavior and cooperation, health promotion will be the organic outcome of our mindful behavior towards ourselves and others.
trition is today's new religion. How we chose to eat provides a sense of control and predictability in a world that is often out of control and not predictable. People find comfort, stability and reassurance in the regimen of adhering to a certain diet and what they believe it will do for their well-being and longevity.
The future of health promotion needs to address that while nutrition is one of the five major necessities of life our relationships (after survival needs are met) are the #1 most critical component to health – and for health promotion. Currently, the way we treat each other at work, in the media, politics, and in our homes, speaks of an underlying pathology; a lack of respectful communication, widespread cultural discontent and alienation. http://boston.cbslocal.com/2015/03/31/research-golden-rule-lost-among-coworkers/

In 1980, TIME magazine published a survey asking if people were happy or content and felt purposeful in their lives; 80% responded positively. Just over 10 years later, TIME magazine published another survey. This time there was only a 20% positive response.

The timeline of the epidemic of obesity in the U.S. runs parallel with the epidemic of discontent that was ushered in with the "Life Styles of the Rich and Famous" in the mid-to-late 1980's; followed by an exploding economy fueled by mega-rich real estate, dotcom and investment billions. No one wanted to be left behind in keeping up with the new, very rich "Jones".

Drive and ambition ripped across all sectors of our society; lifestyles were transformed with 2 paycheck households, over 50% of meals eaten outside the home, leisure time slashed. We felt the pressure to keep up, to belong to this explosion of plenty and in that process lost our collective sense of contentment and purposefulness.

Health promotion in the future will be about addressing the needs and drives of the whole person, not just the fuel that runs their engine. Promoting awareness that we all want and need to be valued and to make a meaningful contribution to others is an important starting point. So much of the disease, obesity, depression, unhappiness and untapped potential can be reversed by being valued and respected; when our cultural focus is less on conflict and competition – and more on respectful behavior and cooperation, health promotion will be the organic outcome of our mindful behavior towards ourselves and others.

“People are itchy and lost and bored and quick to jump to any fix. Why is there such a vast self-help industry in this country? Why do all these selves need help? They have been deprived of something by our psychological culture. They have been deprived of the sense that there is something else in life, some purpose that has come with them into the world.”
—James Hillman, PhD
Little Acorns: A Radical New Psychology

We all want to be valued. And in the deepest part of ourselves, we know that. Yet it is forgotten when we encounter each other. What we then do is revert to the pecking order impulse and size up another person to establish either their comparative worth to us or our superiority to them, forgetting that each of us wears an invisible sign that reads, “Notice me; make me feel important.”

We also forget this in our intimate relationships when our need to be valued can overshadow everything else. Many of us are unfulfilled in our lives, and many of us have hungry hearts. There is a way to change this and create healthy, fulfilling relationships, but most of us do not know how. Instead we continue to behave as we always have and continue to experience the same outcomes.

What we want in our relationships is for another person to listen, with genuine interest, to our story, our suffering, our hopes, and our dreams. We want them to care about our life—and not because of some self-serving agenda on their part. Being present to another person in a fully engaged and authentic way connects us with our true self as well as connects us with the other person. Being purely present to another person, or they with us, is a deeply fulfilling experience.

Our relationships give us emotional nourishment and can be the spark that motivates and inspires us to live more authentically, to re-direct and re-shape ourselves in a new and joyful way. To repeat Dan Buettner’s earlier comment, “Relationships are really the key to lifelong happiness.”¹ We want them, we need them, and we continually seek them.

Having the right skills to create healthy, thriving relationships is important. How to create these types of relationships is not something we are taught to do. We learn about relationships with our eyes and ears from observing our family members, our peers, and surrounding environment. Unfortunately for many of us, the skills we have learned do not result in successful and healthy relationships.

It is now well established that our relationships are intimately connected to our state of health. Experiencing the pain of repeated failed relationships can deeply undermine our well-being and self-confidence and lead to loneliness, depression, and chronic illness. Knowing this, it makes good sense to learn relational skills that can help us create more positive and successful outcomes.

By having a better understanding of why we behave as we do, and by learning new skills and knowledge that can facilitate the transformation of our behaviors and thus our relationships, we will improve our relational outcomes as well as the overall state of our health and well-being.

Changing behavior is not easy. The way we behave and why we behave as we do is as unique to each of us as our fingerprints or DNA. Although changing our behavior is challenging, the rewards can be enormous. By changing our relational behaviors we can re-direct all aspects of our life—enhancing our happiness, our work, and our personal fulfillment, and even increasing our longevity.

Excerpted from "Changing Behavior: Immediately Transform Your Relationships with Easy to Learn, Proven Communication Skills."

The subject of romantic love is so vast and dominant in our lives that it is generally the subject most music, books, operas, poems and plays are about. Romantic love is a major focal point in our culture and has been shown to be what is most often the subject people are discussing or thinking about throughout the day. But I am sure none of this surprises you, as the majority of us are “relationship focused.”

Last month I had an amazing opportunity to interview today’s leading scientist and researcher on the subject of “Romantic Love”, which has been the subject of her groundbreaking research since 2005, when her first book on the subject was published. Helen Fisher, PhD, Biological Anthropologist, is a research professor and member of the Center for Human Evolution Studies in the Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University and Chief Scientific Advisor to the Internet dating site, Chemistry.com (a division of Match.com). She has conducted extensive research and written five books on the evolution and future of human love, sexuality, marriage, gender differences in the brain as well as how your personality type shapes who you are and who you love.

For those of us in health practices, it is very common to hear from our patients the pain and heartbreak of their romantic relationships and whether or not they feel they can “ever trust or love another person again.” After being this deeply hurt, many of us would like to be able to just “put it behind us” and move on with our lives, but the research of Dr. Fisher and her team of scientists now explains why it is so painful and difficult to bounce back quickly from a broken heart and how difficult and sometimes desperate we can feel during that experience.

Dr. Fisher’s research on romantic love identifies the areas of the brain, the caudate nucleus and the ventral tegmental area, that show romantic love to be far more powerful and urgent that we may have previously believed. She says that romantic love “It’s really a drive that is deeply primordial and primitive.” She explains that romantic love experiences “…are way below the emotional center and in fact are not emotions at all, but rather a powerful drive and need that is shared by all human beings.”

There are additional studies, such as the Tylenol study out of the University of Kansas, College of Arts and Science, as well as the work of Geoff MacDonald, PhD, associate professor of psychology at the University of Toronto, who is an expert in romantic relationships, that show that “our brain centers cannot tell the difference between physical pain and emotional pain.” Dr. Fisher’s work identified this portion of the brain as the anterior insula, location for both physical pain, as well as heartache. The Tylenol study shows that this simple aspirin like compound can lower the discomfort of heartache as well as a headache.

Dr. Fisher’s research has included thousands of imaging studies both in the U.S. and in China. Through these studies, she and her research team has establish just how important it is for human beings to be in relationships where they experience reward for their feelings and efforts toward the significant other.

If you want to understand more about this fascinating subject and how to help yourself overcome the heartache of lost love, visit www.helenfisher.com  where a book list on her research is available. You can also download a free excerpt from the bestselling, multi-award winning book Changing Behavior, by going to www.changingbehavior.org.

http://web.psych.utoronto.ca/gmacdonald/macdonald_social_pain_chapter.pdf 
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/227298.php